You’ve heard of Flat Stanley? Now there’s Flat Jesus! I pass one of those giant crosses on my way home from work every day. You know, the ones you just can’t help but see. Huge. Recently I started thinking: I wonder where I would have to stand, and where I would have to position the camera, in order to take a photo that makes it look like *I* am hanging on that cross… Hmm.
Upon deciding that idea would require me to stand in the way of fast traffic on a busy highway, I decided instead to make a “Flat Jesus” to take photos of in precarious situations. Now, I’m pleased to announce that Flat Jesus has come to SarahTalk! Here’s how you play:
- Select your favorite Flat Jesus, Download and Print
- Cut out around Flat Jesus
- Optional: Color your picture (some are pre-colored)
- Take pictures of your Flat Jesus anywhere you think will be fun
- Keep it clean. Nobody wants to see your penis, Tom.
- Send your picture(s) to us!
That’s it. Super easy, super fun. Every once in a while we will pick a Flat Jesus picture as a “winner” to reward with something fun (so make sure to include some sort of contact info).
This Flat Jesus lets you customize all the colors.
Jesus, contrary to popular American opinion, wasn’t a basic white dude. Though, keep scrolling, we have an option for that, too!
Ah, that’s better, eh? Here’s a guy we’d let on a plane FO’ SHO’.
Just for fun, and to make it harder to cut out, here’s White Republican Jesus! He comes with ALL the accessories: USA T-Shirt, Assault rifle, American Flag, and Eagle. God. Bless. Fucking. America.